February 25, 2014

Having "The Talk" with Kids that Aren't Your Own



Picture this:

I am a Twenty-One year old student teacher at a rural middle/high school helping a student study for his Plant Identification quiz. I hold up a branch from one of the specimens which happens to be a "White Pine" and ask the young male student, "What is the scientific name for this one". He looks at the branch and looks back at me. I see his face become red and he starts to laugh. Thoughts rush through my head trying to figure out, as fast I can, why he is laughing. I then realize the scientific name for the White Pine is: 

Pinus - Strobus

Fast forward to my second year of teaching Animal Science in a 10th grade classroom and we are discussing live stock anatomy and castration. One of the school goats had just been castrated so I had photos and more to bare. While explaining the process one of my "favorite" students... yes we have favorites, raises her hand and ask," I have a question, but I don't know if it is appropriate?" I always always told my students "No questions are stupid" which was plastered on a poster on the wall behind my desk. I asked her if it is in reference to castration and she says yes so I allow her to ask. 

"Well, in sex ed we are talking about how the male penis releases the sperm... if a goat is castrated will they continue to ... "Ejaculate"? 

With all the maturity that I could muster from within my tiny 5'2 body I simply answer the question as straight as an arrow and move on to the next subject. It took everything in me to not crack a smile, laugh, or dismiss a question that actually was a good question about reproduction in livestock. 

don't have children, let alone children that are old enough to ask about sex yet, however, my jobs over the past 6 years have always been surrounded by young "hormone" barring sex talking teens. As an Agriculture teacher I had to learn to expect it ALL. By the end of the second year, no subject or question could give me the giggles. 

My current job works with mentoring and helping students complete high school and go onto college so a lot of times Sex gets brought up in conversation. 

"What are road blocks that can keep you from a college education"? 
Answer: Sex

"What advice do you ask your friends about that can help you navigate through middle and high school?"
Answer: Boy, Girls, Relationships... Sex

"Once you go to college and live in a dorm what things might you have conflicts about with you room mates:

Wait for it....

SEX!

I am okay with talking to teens about sex because I feel like if they are brave enough and comfortable enough to ask an adult... and if I happen to be that adult... that I should give them my advice. 

I'm starting to wonder though if their parents would feel the same way? 

Obviously, I tell the students that sex is a very big decision that everyone makes and that they should have the conversation with their parents. I tell them that sex is something extremely special between two people and that at 15 boyfriends and girlfriends seem like the most special people in the world to share that with... but that in a month they might not think that girl or boy is as special. I tell them that abstinence is the best way to not get pregnant. However, If they feel they are grown up enough to make a decision that large then they are also grown up enough to walk into a CVS and buy condoms... they are also grown up enough to have their parents take them to get on birthcontrol... or to even seek out organizations (like Planned Parenthood) that will give them a free exam and birth control. 

We talk about pregnancy and how it can detour their plans of college. I know lots of teen mommy's that are wonderful people and have made great lives for themselves and their children and then again I've seen a lot that haven't... so we talk about situations. 

So let me ask you a sex question, "If you're teen felt comfortable enough with asking another adult about sex how would you like them to go about the conversation"? 

If you have children that aren't of teens yet but you still have an oppinion please give it.

I'm all ears... I'll start biting my nails now. 



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