My Faith Story

Last week my husband and I sat with our new pastor during a meeting to discuss us joining the local Church. Honestly, we haven't been to church in two years until three Sundays ago.

When we first moved to Iowa we decided it would be a great place to meet the people in our community but something didn't click. We stopped going, making excuses that we had chores to do around our 14 acre home and that going to church would take too much time out of the day. As we sat there in our meeting I was nervously awaiting the questions that would be brought forth. I've never had a relationship with a pastor. Heck, I've never really had a conversation with a pastor before other then, Hi & how are you?

 

Before our meeting I had began preparing mentally for the questions that may be asked. I knew deep within he would be asking us about our faith and how we were raised. Why wouldn't you ask that as a pastor? The problem is, that's a really confusing question for me to answer.

 

It was almost immediate but certainly not the first thing the Pastor asked. The first was, “Why do you want to join the church?”

 

Inside we weren't ready to share with this man why we were truly there, that was to seek Gods love and understanding of life. Instead, the other truth. We want to be true Christians. We have been lazy in our faith and know in our hearts that we should serve our church and commit our love to Jesus as he committed to us all.

 

Then came the second, the question I had prepared myself for. What is your faith story?

 

Thankfully, my husband had been Mr. Chatty Kathy since we walked through the doors and volunteered his story first. He amazes me in his sureness and confidence. How he delivers his accounts and speaks without hesitation. Looking back I think he knew it would be harder for me to explain so instead he was paving the road for my own, plugging in bits about his wife as he spoke.

 

Then it was my turn.

 

You see, (just say it) I'm not yet baptized. My father is Catholic, my mother Episcopalian. They decided not to baptize any of their four children, to this day I'm not sure why. My dad is still a devoted Catholic so we went to church some Sundays with him, mainly during the holidays. We always sat in the back and left before Communion took place. I later learned that it was because we weren't allowed to participate and no longer could my father. I lived in a very Catholic community in which I would go to school and kids would say that I was going to go to hell. I grew angry with religion and became atheist in high school. Later in college I met new friends that had found God along their own journeys. They started taking me to youth groups and helping me to understand all the questions that I never was able to ask anyone.

 

It was there that I found religion but it was much later when I found Faith.

 

I would marry and move to South Dakota away from friends, family, and everything I knew. I wouldn't find my "Dream Job" continuing as an Agriculture Teacher, instead I would land an admissions job at a Methodist College of merely 800 students. That's where I learned that being a Christian comes in all forms, beliefs, and traditions. It's where I learned to let go of my discomfort with religion and let God become more present in my life. It was the first time that I had heard that any believer of god could take communion. It took months for me to hear that it was okay to participate in communion, I still felt like it was wrong. I still felt like I should leave. But then one day I reached deep within and felt his love in my heart.  It was then that I found faith and for the first time I didn't feel judged for something that I knew in my heart has always been.

 

We would later move to Iowa where I would again move jobs and find myself searching for something more in my life. I missed my students, I missed guiding them, and being active in their lives. I found a job listing working with low income first generation students and as I read the description I realized that it was my calling. I got the job and more than ever I believe that my faith journey has lead me here to Iowa to work with these families and live exactly in the life that god had planned for me all along. During all of those years of confusion and questioning God was still doing his work through me. How amazing is he?

 

As we finished our conversation our Pastor asked if being baptized was something that I wanted for myself. I felt the tears starting to come to my eyes and responded.

 

"Absolutely, I've wanted this for a long time."

 

*As I finish up this post I want readers to know that I respect all religions. This was a journey through my eyes and part of that journey includes living as my father's daughter and experiencing going to a Catholic Church as a non-Catholic. I respect, love, and look up to him for continuing in his faith. I believe my parents wanted us to find our religion on our own and although confusing, I am exactly where I am suppose to be in Life, in Faith, and with God.